Jane! Stop this crazy thing!

wellthatsjustgreat:

Last Sunday’s new Ducky post. This week’s new post goes up at 7:00 ET tonight at wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: You’re not happy with me.

Me: I’m not happy with you.

Ducky: I could tell.

Me: …

Ducky: You left the doors open.

Me: So it’s my fault?

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Yes.

Me: …

Ducky: No.

Me: You’d be in a better position to argue if you hadn’t refused to turn around and come back when I called you.

Ducky: I never heard you call me.

Me: I called you, you stopped, turned around, looked at me, and then turned back around and started running again.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: That was you?

Me: …

Ducky: I thought that was a squirrel. 

Me: You thought a squirrel called your name?

Ducky: Yes.

Me: …

Ducky: A tall squirrel. 

Me: …

Ducky: A tall, handsome, forgiving squirrel.

Me: …

Ducky: Okay. Maybe I knew it was you. But I also know my opportunities for freedom are limited! And I came back!

Me: …

Ducky: Later.

Me: You could have gotten hurt. 

Ducky: I’m sorry, Daddy.

Me: Please don’t do that anymore.

Ducky: I don’t do it to upset you.

Me: I know. I love you , Ducky. I just need you to be safe.

Ducky: I’ll try.

Me: And I’ll try to be more careful about the doors.

Ducky: Probably smart. I mean well but my impulse control is less than reliable.

Me: I know. I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.